Be careful what you wish for!

I have some good friends, to whom I kept complaining that I was alone. They are animal lovers and practical people, so they offered me a solution. First of all, I had to buy a plant. If I did not kill it for a year, I had to adopt an animal and, if it lasted for an year, too, then I would be responsible enough to get myself a boyfriend. When I bought my apartment, they gave me an aloe plant. I tried taking care of it best I could. I even moved furniture around for it to have light, in a place with access to direct sunlight, but protected from draft. I would wet it often, careful not to have excess water.

When the third leaf turned brown, I was convinced that the Universe was sending me a message: I would die alone. I prepared to move it to a different pot, with soil mixed with wood charcoal and finely grind brick. Little rocks at the bottom of the pot, covered in a thin layer of sawdust. When I took out the plant, I realized it did not have roots. My friends played a trick on me.

Then, my mom had me put a wedding ring in a cup and cover it in honey. Every time I would pass by it, I had to whisper to it what I was looking for. Another friend had me make a list of qualities in which I had to minutely describe my ideal future lover, then forget about it and concentrate on myself.

After 9 Tuesdays of church-going and having the priest read out loud what I was praying for, installing and unistalling Tinder 3 times, I found him. A boy as per the list. Now I wish I would have written ‘generous millionaire’ or at least have added to ‘good driver’ – ‘who also has a car with air conditioning’. It’s so hot, that the 3 generations of flowered skirts in front of us at the supermarket queue sprinkle themselves with water from a bottle of window cleaner.

^ The photograph is from Tatiana Volontir’s portfolio, see more on her facebook.

2 gânduri despre „Be careful what you wish for!

  1. Foarte frumos. Imi place cum povestesti, si temele pe care le alegi. Ca un semn de pretuire iti sugerez, bineinteles daca consideri potrivit si interesant, sa scrii o povestire despre un subiect mie foarte drag. despre stramosul nostru comun (sunt sigur) Toma Trambitas, care la 1 august 1663 a fost innobilat de catre Principele Transilvaniei Mihail Apafi.

    Citat extras din diploma de innobilare:

    “Hotărând lămurit că întotdeauna de acum înainte, numitul THOMAS TROMBITAS, precum şi toţi moştenitorii şi urmaşii lui de ambele sexe să se socotească şi să se numere drept nobili adevăraţi şi neîndoielnici”.
    Michael Apafi, principe al Transilvaniei

    Apreciat de 1 persoană

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